Reflections in June
On financial goals, a career change, staying the path, making more art, and strategies for the future…
I'm halfway through 30 paintings in 30 days. Initially the concept was to build out my inventory so that I can roll into my season of sales with a strong base-- I don't want to put up a show in a cafe and be flush out of paintings for other opportunities.
I'm still fully in the struggle of shifting my mindset around abundance as a creative. Objectively, I know that what I'm offering has value, and the issue is in properly packaging and disseminating that value to those in my community. I know that what I'm doing makes sense, and that it takes time-- to pivot from a salaried role to one in which I have to catch my own fish has been exhilarating yet riddled with doubts.
I often wonder what's the best approach, and I want to be as authentic as possible, yet I have seen some amount of value in "fake it till you make it." I don't like to pretend that I'm all the way there yet-- I do paint full time, I do create full time, yet I have the block of fully calling it my "occupation." I consider in sales it's best to retain your BATNA-- reminding myself that it's OK if someone doesn't buy my art, because all of my needs are met-- so I can offer things at what should be fair for me as an artist.
And I do remind myself that my needs are met. I'm still able to continue down this path for another year with little to no income, and I remind myself that I haven't even turned the page into the trials and tribulations of art sales with my foot on the pedal. I follow a few business content creators, and they talk about how you really need to keep reminding people that you exist-- so often I find that people don't have any idea that I'm even selling art.
My endeavors haven't quite turned the corner where my mind has caught up that I'm fully doing it, and I think most of that is a financial block. I do think that once I'm covering my month-over-month, something in my brain will go, "wait a minute, this is real, you're doing it." I would love to do this without relying on "going back" to the old ways of living, because only then will I feel like I've hit the success which was goal #1. Retaining psychological and physical safety goes hand-in-hand with making good art-- the act of making can provide them as well, as you're tricking your brain into saying, "of course I'm safe, as I'm spending time on art!"
The temptation to go back to old patterns is always there. I think we're inherently change-avoidant, and I recently had a software contract come into my periphery. I thought that I should take it-- after all, that was the original plan. Work on my art until it takes off (and once it does, I won't need to go back to software) but I could take contracts to bolster my savings and provide the sense of psychological safety which comes from covering your rent and food.
My gut, however, tells me to keep going. I want to be a successful artist. I've only been pushing at this endeavor for nine months. I think drastic change and shifts in our identity will take longer than that. Not only this, but I feel like I'm right at the edge of it all turning around and taking off.
My tracked income, January through the start of June
May was the first month in which I beat out my expenses. Life isn't linear, so I don't know if I'll do the same thing in June. I have a commission to collect the second half of, plus some prospective commissions, but I don't like to consider anything a "given." My expectation is that my income may bounce up, then down, then up again. My main goal that I set in September 2024 was to find a pattern in which I'm covering my expenses month-over-month, ideally for three months in a row. This was always the original plan— spend a long time making, spend some time selling, and see if it’s a pattern which will sustain me.
I expected my income to putter around $0 while I learn and experiment, which it did. I told myself that if I can achieve my September 2025 goal of $3k/mo for three months, I'll keep going. Otherwise I'll reconsider this path, reluctantly going back to software.
I've taken a lot of inspiration in my life from Taleb's Antifragile in which he discusses limited/unlimited upside and downside, plus some of the words of Naval Ravikant and Phoenix-local Dan Koe. I knew going in that it would take me roughly a year to even make some money, but that if I set up the right pipelines, the upside is unlimited. I'm hoping to establish a strong base of direct art sales plus more passive products like courses and prints, tapping into that skin-in-the-game upside.
I have other goals and metrics for my art, considering that it's only really worth it to track artistic and content output. This is what I'd like to be tracking in the perspective of my life, but I do have to consider my finances. Success is a lagging indicator, after all.
Built in were some contingencies to my plans, and I think these coming months will be revealing on whether or not I'll need to take them. I always considered that I could just do what I love until I'm broke-- I still have roughly one year of living expenses remaining (assuming I make no money, but I'd like to think I'm approaching a turning point).
As I near the end of my lease and the end of my first year, I'm considering a few options.
Stay in my current studio, keep progressing with what's working. Make art, double down on flex and paint, pick up more fitness clients, offer courses. Paint more. Travel when it suits me but keep grinding.
I've always wanted to live abroad. I thought about moving to Mexico City or to Spain or France, but I figured it would be hard on "business." I didn't think I could handle both an international move and a career change at the same time. I thought about doing software remotely, but I consider this kicking the can down the road-- I could go somewhere I love, but if I'm still doing work that doesn't satisfy me, it feels like procrastination.
I think now that I'm finding a pattern that works, I could consider this, but not for some time. This is the final vision-- live abroad and be able to travel based on my art income, but retain work that energizes me.
Pick up some software contracts to have provable income, move from my place, and pick up an art studio to expand. Continue business as usual but with a new flavor.
Perhaps less than ideal, because I don't want to lose the momentum that I've gained over the past nine months. Good money, but less passion. Might be a nice break from artistic output, which I think comes seasonally, but I'm not sure that it's necessary.
Ultimately, I'm thoroughly enjoying what I'm doing, and I've learned a lot in the process. I have had immense growth in many new domains, and I've enjoyed watching my paintings improve over the past nine months. I don't quite know what to do-- maybe I'll take up the contract, maybe I'll pivot to trying to secure brand deals, maybe I'll just up and move to Mexico (jk).
I always try to do the thing which I'd be the most proud to have selected, not necessarily the "smartest" thing. I think I know what I want to do, and now it's a question of putting in the work and waiting-- fingers crossed for some more art sales and the ability to continue down this path!
Thank you for reading, and thank you supporting me-- your patronage keeps me going and it's instrumental to my art and my growth. Stay in touch for the next post in which I'm musing over the strategy for the coming months.
