Six Months: Clarifying Priorities, Clearing Obstacles
It’s April, which means that it’s been just over six months since I left my job to pursue my personal goals and align my life with my ideal vision: I’m trying to shape my lifestyle first, then see about how the money will follow.
I recently had an issue with my website where I was unable to actually process any payments. I was speaking with a friend about the situation.
“It sounds like you cleared an energy block around money,” she said.
This rang true right as she said it. I believe that I did have some subconscious obstacle around increasing income; I have had commissions here and there, amounting for some income, but it wasn’t the level that I was hoping for. I found it strange that in my six months of trying to make art and market myself, I hadn’t sold any original art (except for the piece that I sold to my mom).
I bumped into another friend, a barista at Luanas. She had a similar take.
“You’re famous,” she said to me. I immediately deflected it, but she had a point outside of appealing to vanity—she was impressed by my art, and she was incredulous that I hadn’t brought it up to her before. “You should tell more people about your art,” she said.
I try to avoid talking about myself excessively without being prompted. The barista’s comment was one that I consider as a celebration of the work that I’ve put in, not to show off, but to recognize that I have been working hard and I should not stand in my way of success. Both of these exchanges reveal to me that I should shift my mindset around asking for the sale or simply just telling people what I’m about. In the time that I’ve been making media on Instagram and TikTok, I have rarely stated my mission or purpose, or made a request: I’m an artist, I want to sell art, and I want to help people with their own artistic journey and fitness goals.
At the turn of my six months exactly, I was feeling discouraged and confused. I had a pseudo-realization: making a few paintings each month might just not be enough to sustain my ideal lifestyle. This thought was coming from a place of fear and doubt; only after I had removed the block on my website, and I think in conjunction, my mental block, am I realizing the opposite: people want to support my craft, and I have had sufficient interest to see where this will go. People were trying to buy my art in the way that I had envisioned, but I hadn’t emphatically expressed my desire for sales. I’m feeling a second wind, encouraged by those who have supported me.
Thus, I want to clarify my priorities for this next season of my life:
Promote art, whether mine or that of others, and help connect artists with those who support them
Continue to make media and network with those who are interested in my life
Paint and sell paintings
I’m still uncertain of what it might mean to “become an art dealer,” the derivative explanation of what I’m trying to do. I need to document this confusing journey, articulating what I’ve tried, what I want to do, and what’s blocking my path.
I also aim to clarify a subdivision of this endeavor: my media, i.e. Flex and Paint. I had a thought recently in passing: “if you’re breaking a sweat, I respect you.” It’s not to say that I don’t respect those who don’t exercise or put sweat equity into their craft—it’s more about encouraging people in those two domains.
Art and exercise have an important intersection. They both enable you to inhabit your body, released from the overwhelming capture of the thinking mind. Humans are meant to create, and they are meant to live within their senses. They are meant to align with the fruits of their labors—I certainly felt disembodied, almost hollow, when I was working for companies which didn’t connect me with my labor. I get the sense that many people feel this way; people report feeling exhausted, disconnected, and detached. They work a job which feels meaningless to them, despite their objective knowing that it’s making progress or gain, somewhere.
Thus, I want to encourage people in the two domains which I have found the opposite result: art and exercise. Both art and exercise do not exhibit immediate progress, but you can chip away at things via repetitions. The important thing is to realize that you must be detached from any immediate outcome, despite progress being inevitable. You don’t wake up and see gains after one pushup. You don’t wake up and say “I’m an artist!” after drawing one line. But the accumulation of reps will inevitably grant progress.
The main purpose of my content is to demonstrate to people to make something. I think that any attempt in these domains is beneficial: you feel better after making anything. I think that in most of my content, I am showing often the end result, which is unintended. I’m showing my physique after ten years of exercise, and paintings after half a decade of practice. The kicker is that you will inevitably have tangible progress, despite how the endorphins flow based on the process, not the outcome.
The fitness aspect is in some ways secondary to my point. Again, I mostly want people to make something. I think that adding fitness as an element is beneficial, because art and fitness go hand-in-hand. When you make stuff, you feel better. When you also add in an element of exercise, you’ll feel even better. Removing the block of feeling detached from your body because you aren’t putting in time to “live within your senses” or that caused by lack of tangible production is my main goal. I want people to feel like they’re progressing on any goal or skill that they have, and I’ve simply found that creativity and body awareness are the easiest ways to tap into such progress.
This is why the flex of Flex and Paint is key—fitness forces you to recognize and celebrate how you inhabit your body. It makes you a perceptual being, which is the crux of art, in my opinion. I had no training when I started lifting and painting—chipping away at it without a plan is the best way to start, because you rely on yourself to perceive what you find appealing.
If I motivate even one person to paint, create, or spend more time feeling within their body and senses, I consider it successful. I’m hoping that in this next season, I’m able to articulate this better, and remove any blocks from those who need it.
